Faffer of the Year

Feb ’17

Here we are, another year gone. Last year I got a Faffer of the Year award. I have become an expert in procrastination. Now I keep panicking about the Spring Fling. I don’t seem to have made a lot and yet there are quite a few works ready. I am still waiting for the great burst of energy and creativity to blow my mind. Can I blame the weather? World situation? Maybe I can blame the cold. I went to a great Hogmanay party, danced my socks off. It was a great end to the old year. In the afternoon of the New Year’s day I started coughing. I’m still coughing and this is now second week in February. There is a lot of this kind of lurgy about. It does its trip around the body. Coughing, lungs on fire, runny nose, sinuses exploding, aching muscles and joints, sore throat and head. It’ll be gone by midsummer I’m sure.

I had decided to try a dry January, to see if I’d feel any better after that. You know the sort of thing they say that happens – wonderful complexion, higher energy levels, the whites of your eyes go white again, feeling great. Well, none of that happened thanks to the cold. At least it was easy enough to do the dry January as nothing tasted good. I shouldn’t have wasted good ingredients and cooking. Shredded cardboard with ketchup would have done. Wine tasted like… I don’t know what. Oddly enough champagne tasted ok. I lapsed twice in January. I had to join the neighbour celebrating the news of becoming a granny for the first time and the second was No 1 daughter’s new car which strictly speaking wasn’t up to me to celebrate, especially when daughter doesn’t drink due to the second baby being due in May. It is a tradition in the family to celebrate with champagne when you get new wheels, so she took me to the neighbour’s and neighbour obliged and shared the champagne with me.


Late March ‘17

Every day when the postie doesn’t bring you a speeding ticket, is a good one. Four working days gone so far…

I had been to Glasgow for my haircut and oil change for the car and we were motoring home when my companion shouted Police! It was the dreaded van on top of the long uphill and I was coming a fair speed round the sweeping bend at Parkgate. My heart sank. We had been blethering nicely, sorting out the world. I was hoping they were still dealing with the van ahead of me, it seemed to go the same speed as I. I braked of course but was it enough not to register, we’ll see. I was travelling with No 1 Daughter’s mother in law and it had been a fun trip. On my mind also had been Mother who was in hospital and her being 83 every little problem can become crisis. I’m very happy to report she is on the mend now and back at home. It was the flu again causing havoc. She had the real flu – not even a bad man cold – in January and it never left her, it kept on popping up and thumbing its nose at her. She collapsed and was carted off to the hospital. She made a wonderful recovery after they diagnosed what was wrong with her and treated her. She must be on the mend as already in hospital she said she had seen herself in the mirror and immediately reached for the lipstick. And on arrival home she felt much better, informing me and brother that we aren’t getting the inheritance quite yet. Wonderful news.


Well darlings, Spring Fling is looming very large in the near future. I’m not counting days. It is still weeks to come. To be sure I’ll be ready – WELCOME!