Get someone else to do your dirty work. 

While I was tidying the wood shed I discovered a large wasp nest on a piece of wood. Being a do-it-all-yourself and having done it before, albeit them being smaller nests, I thought this is no problem. Got the plastic bag over the nest and started cutting it off the wood when two little b******s (blighters)  flew out. One stung me on the finger and the other one on  the eyebrow. As soon as I had dealt with the bag I went to get the sting relief. It wasn’t where it should have been, couldn’t find it. Also I couldn’t think which substance to use on a wasp sting. Apparently it’s vinegar – white wine, red wine, cider, malt, balsamic..? Pity, I have loads of them in the cupboard. Ooh it was sore! Wasp sting on an eyebrow is not to be recommended. The whole eye area swelled looking like someone had punched me, the eye was almost closed. As luck would have it, it was Sunday. I phoned the 111 helpline and they directed me to the nearest open pharmacy to get relief stuff. It was 24 miles away but off we went. I got antihistamin pills and was told if the swelling doesn’t go down soon I have to see the doc. It didn’t. Doc suspected there was infection and gave me antibiotics. Great. That was a wine free week, and the eye returned to normality. Oddly enough the finger was ok by the time I got the antibiotics. I could be persuaded to get a wasp exterminator next time. How much are beekeeper’s hats…

I am now legal immigrant.

After having lived in Scotland since 1980 I was miffed about having to apply to stay here. No 1 Daughter did it on line. I could never have done it, not with my computer skills. The photo would have scuppered me. She took a photo of me on her mobile. Sent it to my e mail and transferred it to the application form. I was just hoping the photo wouldn’t be plastered on a card or piece of paper for me to carry about. It was the worst photo of me, ever. It was a picture of an old frump with lanky hair, pasty face. Do I really look like that?! I couldn’t even hide behind specs. Passport photos are usually awful but this beats them all. Luckily no ID card, the settled status should appear when I show my passport at airports. That’s the theory. Technology may or may not have caught up with this all by the time we have to Brexit and I go abroad. I’m not taking a risk. I’ll carry a wee piece of paper in my wallet, the printed e mail to say that my application had been accepted.

To panic or not to panic? Only Drama Queens need to apply.

Living on your own brings different problems and challenges to life. You can’t delegate jobs, share info and skills. The buck stops here. In the past I’d tell No 1 Husband there is a funny screeching noise in the car, do something! Is the car going to disintegrate soon, go up in flames!? Off he would go and report back it was a wee stone in the brake… Recently when water was pouring from the ceiling during a heavy rainfall – shall I get the brolly out,  life belt, the canoe? No – I can swim! The problem was cured when I unblocked the down pipe in the gutter. The other night I was sooo looking forward to going into a warm bed. It had been a cold day and my feet were blocks of ice. I love my electric blanket. I got in – the bed was cold. Help! My blanket has died! I’m going to die of hypothermia, in the middle of the night, all alone! Waaah! Electric blanket was added to the shopping list, on the top. Changing the linen the next day I discovered the plug had come adrift from the blanket… Electric blanket was wiped off the shopping list. Or maybe I should buy a spare, just in case…