Mrs Smug here.

If someone put on your plate half a steak, a chicken breast, large baked potato, a cup of whipped cream, an onion, three cloves of garlic and a roll and told you to eat it you’d say not on your Nelly. Yet, that’s what I did on Friday night. It was a fondue. It was very good going – amazing – considering I usually manage half a steak and a baked potato.

There must be a mechanism in the body that allows you temporarily to exceed the limits. How else would you sometimes manage to eat three large potatoes in chip form in addition to the chop and salad and yet struggle with three small boiled potatoes with the stew. The switch must be in the taste buds. They tell the tummy to expand NOW. No problem here, as so far the switch is turning itself off.

For the Hogmanay party I had decided what to wear but just for a laugh tried on a slinky frock I had bought ten years ago. The Husband zipped it up and I could still breathe so I left it on – and felt pretty smug. Wearing too tight clothes, I have discovered, also prevents you from overeating…

Just before Christmas I caught the BahHum bug.. This year I was struggling to feel kind and generous at Christmas time. Blame the weather. Weeks of wind and rain irritates you, gets you down, so, forget about the seasonal good will and treat yourself. Having been told that sunshine can seriously damage your eyes I bought a pair of sunglasses – all singing all dancing polarized prescription ones.

Needless to say I haven’t needed them since I got them. It’s still raining. Should have bought expensive wellies and a brolly. The plus side is there is no fear of skin damage from exposure to the sun either and now that I have sunglasses, squinting won’t give me wrinkles around the eyes. I must try it, to tell people I’m about 40. I’ll report what the reaction is, will it be raucous laughter or will they say  ‘…is she or isn’t she..?’ Try 38 next.

One minute…I’ll just do this…

As participants of the Spring Fling we were asked to fill in a questionnaire about ourselves and our work. I had been putting it off a while for various reasons, the final being that I lost the e-mail with the form in it.

In the end it was fun to fill in as I had very little time (like the deadline was two days ago) and I wrote down the first thing that came to mind. I hope it makes sense to whoever has to process it. One of the questions was about achievements and awards etc and I couldn’t boast with one. Life and work at the moment are fragmented enough to do anything extra, I’m flying around like a blue … bottle, achieving very little.

So I thought of inventing a new award, The Procrastination Award. It could be awarded for the most imaginative excuse for putting off doing a task or the longest it takes. I only thought of this as I’m quite good at it. The good thing about procrastination is that it gets done other jobs that have been waiting for ages, like ironing, tidying the cupboard under the stairs, cleaning the glass in the greenhouse… What would the Award look like?

Answers please on a post card or bring them to the Spring Fling..

I’ll go through them before I start work again.