27.11.2023
This is a rant.
Every time they install an update in the computer – whether I want it or not – it makes a mess of what I have just learned and can cope with. The jargon is baffling, you don’t know what the word means, it isn’t user friendly. You are reluctant to click anything new in case the whole thing disappears and you don’t know how to retrieve it. I am trying to write a new blog and the page on screen is very small, I can’t see it properly to read it and the page doesn’t even look like A4. The icon that made the sheet whatever size you needed has disappeared. The bar that determined where the margins are has disappeared. Today I shouted at the computer. Or I shouted at the experts who think they make your life easier with all the innovations. Innovations my foot. OOMMMMMM!
This has been a frustrating year altogether, in many ways. I have been to Finland four times this year, to see Mother. In January she was is her wee rented place after having sold the family home the year before. It was a wise move, to sell up because she couldn’t cope with the big house and garden any more. In May she was in hospital in the ‘memory ward’. In June she went into a nursing home where she is now a resident. I visited her in August and she was was happy with the care – and food., and still is. It is a purpose built new house with big airy rooms, wide doorways and corridors to accommodate wheelchairs. She has her own furniture, her favourite painting. I had already booked another flight to Finland for November but decided to change it to October. It was her 90th birthday and there was going to be a party. It was a good party. Mother recognised all the guests and was very much on the ball. The whole time I was there in October we had good conversations. If only someone could be there all the time talking to her of the past present and future happenings she would be better. All the residents are in the same memory loss boat with her. You really can’t have a proper conversations, especially when they don’t have anything in common from the past. It would be less frustrating if you knew what goes on in their head, how they connect events. – sometimes real, sometimes imaginary. Her sense of time has gone. I ask her when my brother visited and she would say he hasn’t been for a long time and I know he visited the day before, or even earlier that day. I phone her once a week but the calls are very short. Being older generation she still thinks using the mobile is very expensive. Last phone call lasted two minutes. All she said was yes yes, she is fine. She asked if my family is well, everything ok? “Yes mother, everybody fine. Have you…” and that’s as far I got before she said Ah well, good, bye then. At least that’s why I think she keeps the conversations short…🙄😐
Update to that, 18.2.2024
I’m off to see mother again. Her situation worsened at the end of last year. They think she perhaps had a wee stroke. She became disruptive and is slowly losing the ability to speak. I phone the nursing home every week but it isn’t a conversation any more. The staff give me an update. I just say something mother might recognise. Brother says the same. He’ll sit with mother talking about his life and happenings but mother doesn’t seem to understand much and falls asleep a lot. Even knowing the situation I’m sure it will be a shock to see mother. It is truly awful how our loved ones are reduced to this.
Another rant.
I am baffled how my electricity bills are so high. I use as little electricity as I can. I switch off lights if I’m not in the room, I use washing machine and dish washer at off peak. I have energy saving bulbs – never mind not being able to read unless I sit right under the lamp… Of course, unit prices keep on rising but the bills to have doubled is baffling as I used a lot more units in the past. The heating uses electricity to work but that is off most of the day. I’d hate to think what the bill would be like if I was warm all day. Roll on Spring and Summer – can’t wait!
I’m off to add a log in the fire. Now which one will it be, a real one or a newspaper one…